Sometimes, when we have plans, goals, or ambitions, life decides to pull the rug underneath our feet. Setbacks are inevitable.
Someone else gets the position you were working towards.
Someone else wins the race you were training for.
Your next big sale falls through.
The date you thought could be “the one” ghosts you.
In moments like these, you may just want to throw in the towel because what’s the point?
It sucks, I get it.
Well, we both know that you will have to get back at it eventually, right?
There are typically two types of advice you might get from people in situations like this.
The poor little you advice
This is when people commiserate with you and tell you things like:
Just forget about it and go and enjoy yourself.
You’re pushing yourself too hard, life is hard as it is.
It’s not fair.
The universe has something better for you.
Well… while a bit of pitty may feel good, it’s not going to help you much.
The tough-love advice
This is when people disregard your emotions completely like you were a cyborg and say things like:
Stop being weak and get back at it.
There’s no time for being upset.
…or, I think we all have been traumatised by: Stop crying or I give you something to cry about! ?
Well… tough-love can work, but you may not be quite ready to bounce back.
Try this – My ‘Sulking Deadline’ advice.
When life slaps you, punches you in the mouth, or kicks you in the privates, it sure hurts. No doubt about it.
So sometimes we need a bit of time to sulk, feel sorry for ourselves, process it, and re-group ourselves.
Give yourself that time. It’s ok.
But give yourself a sulking deadline.
“Ok, I’ll feel sorry for myself for a day, then I pull myself together and get back in the game.”
Depending on the blow, you may need a day, or a few, maybe a week.
That’s fine. Recalibrate, refresh, drink green tea, go on the top of the mountain and meditate your socks off.
But don’t let these blows throw you off course for unnecessarily long.
As cliche as it may be, these situations will make you weaker, less confident, and more doubtful if you let them. Or they can make you stronger, more self-aware and resilient if you are strategic with it.
So, if you want to sulk, go for it, but set a time limit to it.
If you need help bouncing back, contact me, I’m sure we can do something about it.