How to overcome envy towards other' success

Q&A: how to stop feeling envious towards other’s success.

Question: “Hi Tomas, how can I handle feelings of envy towards peers’ successes and focus on my own path?”

What a great question, and it’s something most of us grapple with, sometimes without even realising it.

Let’s get into it.


Envy is as human as breathing or enjoying a slice of pizza too fast.

We’re wired to compare ourselves with others. This is a leftover trait from way back when sizing up our peers meant survival.

Nowadays, it’s more about scrolling through Instagram, seeing someone’s beach photos while you’re in a cubicle, and feeling like you missing out on life.

But understanding that envy can actually signal deeper desires or unmet goals can transform it from a nagging pest to a tool for personal insight and growth.


The key here isn’t to suppress envy, but to decode it.

Use it as a flashlight to illuminate what you truly desire and what might be lacking in your own journey.

If you’re envying someone’s career success, maybe it’s your ambition speaking to you, not just petty jealousy.

Turn that envy into a mirror. What is it showing about your goals, values, or needs?

⚙️ HOW

Here are practical steps you can take:

1️⃣ Identify the Trigger:

Catch yourself when you feel envious and pinpoint exactly what triggered it. Is it someone’s job promotion, new car, or maybe their seemingly effortless social life? Identifying this gives you a clue about what you might really want.

2️⃣ Turn Envy into Inspiration:

Instead of stewing in envy, think about how you can use your feelings as motivation to improve your own circumstances. Maybe it’s setting new professional goals or sprucing up your social calendar. Transform envy from a source of pain to a catalyst for personal growth.

3️⃣ Count Your Own Wins:

It’s easy to overlook your own achievements when you’re busy eyeing someone else’s. Make a habit of recognizing and celebrating your own successes, no matter how small. This builds gratitude and satisfaction with your own life, dampening those envious flames.

4️⃣ Focus on Your Unique Journey:

Remember that everyone’s path is different. Life isn’t a race, and everyone has their own set of challenges and advantages. Concentrate on carving out your personal and professional journey based on your values, not someone else’s highlight reel.

5️⃣ Limit Exposure to Triggers:

If social media brings out the green-eyed monster, it’s okay to take a break or curate your feed to reduce those triggers. Surround yourself with positivity and stories that inspire you, not ones that fuel your envy.

⏱️ NOW

Grab a notebook or open a note on your phone. Jot down the last few times you felt envious.

What sparked it?

What does this tell you about what you might be missing or desiring in your own life?

This exercise can be eye-opening.

Use these insights to set one achievable goal for yourself this month. Instead of letting envy set your mood, let it set your goals.

Keep moving forward, and remember, the only valid pace is your own.

Keep your eyes on your own paper!

Hope this helps. 




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