THE TOP 10 LESSONS OF 2018 (PART 1)
I generally encourage people to keep looking ahead rather than looking back, because coaching is mostly about improving and going forward.
With that said, looking back can bring a lot of value if done right.
Most people look back the sentiment of what they have not done right, missed, how things should have worked out differently etc. Regret fest!
That generally doesn’t bring any good, just sorrow and helplessness.
If you want to look back, look at the past as a student.
Search for the lessons and learnings in your experiences that you can implement in the future.
It will help you be more effective and avoid making the same mistakes.
Below is a mixture of insights and lessons I’ve learned from observations of others, experiences with my clients, and what I observed about myself that I believe will be valuable for you as well.
1) SET GOALS THAT INSPIRE YOU, NOT PARALYSE YOU.
I see over and over again people setting big and audacious goals that may sound fantastic but these goals are so far from their current situation that these goals, which they set themselves, freak them out and paralyse them.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with big and courageous goals. But to keep in mind that it’s something that may take years to accomplish. The bigger the goal, the further in the future it probably is. And that’s ok (more about that later).
Set big goals only if they will inspire you. You should not feel intimidated by them to the point that it demotivates you to work towards them.
Right now, don’t worry about how you’ll be able to handle it when you achieve it. You’ll develop all the qualities you need, and you’ll grow into the role, responsibility, and fame as you progress forward.
If you need to start with smaller goals that will actually inspire you and motivate you to achieve them, that’s OK.
Build up your confidence through achieving small goals to believe you can reach the big ones!
2) PATIENCE IS EVERYTHING
Lack of patience kills more dreams, goals and progress than anything else.
We live in a work where everything happens so quickly, and we got used to it. However, progress and true accomplishments still take time, a lot of time. We have to do the work and clock the hours, and most of us simply don’t want to.
You want things to happen quickly. I get it.
But you’re not a fruit fly with a 24-hour lifespan, so there is no needs to be impatient.
Patience with yourself and your progress is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. And frankly, you have to, otherwise you’ll quit in your pursuits.
Great things take time.
That hasn’t changed.
3) LACK OF TIME IS RARELY THE PROBLEM
Again and again, I have conversations with people about their goals and why they are not making as much progress as they would want. And the reason? They don’t have time.
Oh please! We all have time.
People who say they don’t have time just give it to other things.
Anyone who has accomplished anything has done it through their 24 hour days.
Do you have an iPhone?
Go to your setting, find ‘Screen time’ and have a look at how much time you’ve spent on your phone just today and in the last seven days.
The last client who told me she didn’t have time spent 5 hours a day on social media apps. And that was just on her phone. How much progress could one make in five hours?
Perhaps for you, it’s not your phone but something else.
You probably know what it is. Youtube, TV, chitchatting, excessive sleeping?
People often say; oh if only I had more time.
Look, if you’re not making the most of the time you have, then more time will make no difference.
Pay attention to where you spend your time unnecessarily.
You can say that you don’t prioritise your time well, but don’t make excuses that you don’t have time.
4) EMOTIONS ARE A BAD COMPASS
We are letting the “I don’t feel like it?” interfere with too much of our behaviour. The problem is, most things are not fun and when something is not fun, we don’t feel like doing it. That’s the reality. The things we feel like doing are usually the things we’re good at. Doing something you’re already good it won’t help you grow.
Have you ever said or thought; Why can’t I get myself to do this?
We often speak AS IF there was something physically preventing us from doing something. 99% of the time, there is nothing like that. It’s our mind and the feeling of resistance to getting on with the activity.
The problem is that we want to feel motivated to do it. We want to enjoy it.
Yes, that is the ideal scenario, but not everything is fun or enjoyable.
Take a little moment and think of how your life will unfold if you only do what you enjoy? Your life will become a downwards spiral composed of a series of shortsighted decisions with devastating long-term impact.
Emotions are not the best guide.
Paradoxically, it’s actually extremely rewarding to win over that little sucker voice in your head and lean into something you are scared of, or you’ve been procrastinating with for a long time and just getting on with it.
THAT feels good!
Rather than being guided by “Do I feel like doing this?” as yourself “What’s the right thing to do?”
It requires self-discipline but it will have a profound impact on your life.
These are the first four insights, and the remaining six will reach you in a few days. The article was just getting a bit too long, so I decided to break it in two.
If you need the support of a life coach, you’re always welcome to contact me and let’s find out if we’d be the right match.
BOOK YOUR FREE Discovery session
In this initial Discovery Session, we’ll discuss what your goals are, changes you want to make, what’s standing in the way, and how I could help you with it. It’s time for us to determine if we’re the right match. If so, we can discuss the next steps. There’s no hard-sell.